I Shall Take The Ring To Mordor...Though I Do Not Know The Way

One Game To Rule Them All: "The Fellowship"

To plagiarize myself: The Fellowship is an elaborate drinking game set to all 3 of the Lord Of The Rings Extended Edition DVD's. It is an epic quest to vanquish one's dignity in the aching abyss of Mount Hangover set to a soundtrack of extreme nerdiness/epic cinema at its finest depending on how you view the fantasy genre.

Anyone That Brings Up The Animated Version Will Be Thrown into Mount Doom

I could easily just ask 8 of my friends to sit in my basement, but that isn't how I do things. This Fellowship will be worthy of the franchise that made it all possible. I'm looking to get as many of my fellow Kingston summerers together as possible for a weekend that will go down as the greatest party of the decade.

The plan is to get as many humans together as possible for one legendary saturday. Beer will be consumed, Pizza will be ordered, Jacket Bars will be earned. 

I have scoured the internet (how cool does that make me sound) to discover the best possible set of rules for this Fellowship. Here is what I came up with:  

"The Fellowship": Whenever the fellowship is mentioned everyone toasts the team.

The Party your Party Could Look Like

"Does This Rule Need A Name?":Every time someone drinks anything, take a drink. Careful during the Legolas/Gimli drinking game. 

"Really?": Every time someone eats anything, take a drink.

"Oh, Sam...": Every time Frodo says "Oh, Sam...," turn to the person beside you and do the same. Drink to make things less awkward. 

"The Killer": Every time someone looks mopey/angst-ridden recall that they have neither beer nor pizza. Sad Drink. 

"9 Riders of the Drinkpocalypse": Every time a Black Rider appears do your part to fight the impossible manifestation of evil. Drink. 

Rule 1 and Rule 2

"OmNomNom": Every time we see someone's filthy, chewed-up fingernails, take a shot.

"Home For A Rest": Every time someone sings a song, take a drink, try to sing along. If it is in elvish just mumble loudly and in an angsty tone. 

"Phallic Imagery": Every time someone draws a sword, take a drink. Its what a real man would do. 

"Fool Of A Took:": Every time Pippin acts like an idiot, take a drink. Think Gandalf is a bit of a grump, remember he dies and feel really guilty about it.

"OmNomNom #2": Every time Gollum hacks up a "gollum! gollum!" drink.

"Precious Is An Awful Movie": In an attempt to unsee the unsee-able, every time someone says "precious" try to drink the pain away. 

"Size Doesn't Matter": Drink whenever a reference to the hobbits size is made. Get bizarrely defensive 

"Is Peter Jackson A Sexist?": Take a drink whenever a female (who doesn't want to sleep with Aragorn) is seen outside the Shire. 

"A Ballad For Steve":Steve the Uruk-Hai (First Uruk-Hai that gets shot at Helms Deep) has been brutally murdered? Have a drink in memory of his life. 

"So Young": Sean the Cave-Troll Gets killed. Remember he probably had a wife and family somewhere. Drink to hide your shame. 

"This is Getting Old": Dwarf/Elf insult or vice versa? Drink. Wonder why Peter Jackson didn't mix up his dialog a bit. 

"Do Not Meddle in the Affairs of Wizards. They are Subtle And Quick to Anger": Gandalf says something wise? Drink. 

"He Who Shall Not Be Named": If Sauron mentioned by name you should drink. (Harry Potter nerds/Lord of the Rings Nerds simultaneously freak out that I misused that reference). 

"Royalties Anyone?" Bilbo's book is mentioned? Drink. 

"Are We There Yet?" Anytime there’s a false ending in “The Return of the King” drink and groan. 

And That's A Wrap: Hilarity Ensues

 Finished? Hardly. After going through a quest of that magnitude you can never truly be finished. You also have the hardest part of the whole journey to go through, next morning.

P.S. Ke$ha.

Looking forward to seeing everyone this summer.