Watch What you Eat: The World's Greatest Restaurant

As my closest friends well know one of my life goals is to open the world's most successful pop culture inspired restaurant. As you all now know, I don't do a very good job of setting reasonable/productive/rational goals.

In order to bring me one step closer towards having my only idea of any reasonable value stolen, I have compiled a preliminary menu for the world's greatest restaurant of the future: "Watch What You Eat."

(In the interest of not having the entirety of my idea stolen, I have provided a list of Alternate Names that you can feel free to steal for your own pop culture restaurant: New Grill, Wok And Roll/Hard Wok Cafe, Once Upon a Tyme In Mexico. Hey Food, A-Nom Maniacs.)

This menu is not to be confused with the food offerings at my future world famous seafood restaurant located in Steveston: "The Seaward."

Breakfast Menu: 

Game of Scones: Choose your favorite scones from a massively complex and difficult to differentiate cast.

Perks of Being a Waffle Hour

Planet of the Crepes: "It was really delicious all along!"

Lox, Stock and Two Smoking Bagels



Act Fast! There is No Telling How Long These Scones Will Last Before They're Brutally Murdered.

Appetizers:

Lord Of the Onion Rings:
Fowlty Tower of Chicken Wings: Much better than anything american tv has to offer.
B for Baguette-a: Served with "Certified Fresh" tomato juice and jam from local strawberry field "Forever."
Butterfly Shrimpsons

I Bet This Gets Your Appetite Going

Sandwiches:

Heroes Sandwhich: The First Bite is Delicious, but things get a bit confusing after that.
The AV-Club: "We Give This Sandwhich a B-"

Hail to the Beef
Steak Me Home Tonight Sandwich: Credit to Dave

Asian:

Of Rice and Men

Sesame Street Chicken: Brought to you by the letter D, for delicious. (Not Actually Street Chicken.)

Pad Thai-tanic
Citizen (Chow) Mein: (Editor's Note: This is a bit of a stretch.)
Ong Bak Choy

Happy Endings (Desserts):

The Walking Bread Pudding: Suprisingly enjoyable despite it's lack of consistency.
Pie Hard
The Piano Flan
Sun Tsu's Tart of War: Great to eat, or to leave on your desk so that people think you are an intense strategic thinker.
Undeclaired
Almost Famousse
C.R.E.A.M. Puffs: Protect ya Neck from sub-par snacks.

"Move swift as the Wind and closely-formed As The Wood. Attack like the Fire and be still as the Mountain."

Spirited Away

Port-landia: Put a Bird on It with this Pacific Northwest favourite.

True Blood-y Mary

Wish you were Beer

Coffee Anan
Pineapple Espresso
Young Juicetice
Clockwork Orange Juice

Pub Fare:

Mariah Curry (With Nicholas Sage)

Silence of the Lamb Chops (Served with Rick Rolls)

Bangers and M*A*S*H

Vegetarian Options

Weeds: An upper middle class single green salad with a dark secret. Also, no discernable plot.

Soy Story
My Big Fat Greek Salad